BVCA BHU

A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, “Yes I have a phone.” The driver of the Yugo says, “Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I’ve got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!” The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, “Yes, I have a refrigerator.” The driver of the Yugo says, “That’s great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!” The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, “Of course I have a television A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!” The driver of the Yugo says, “Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!” Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce sped away, and went straight to the...

Two roosters fought for supremacy in the farmyard. Finally one was vanquished and he went and hid himself in a corner of the hen-house. The victor flew up to the roof of the barn and begin to crow, “I’ve won, I’ve won!” An eagle swooped down and carried him away and the rooster that had been defeated suddenly found himself unchallenged master of the farmyard. Moral Of The Story: The enemy is often defeated by his own pride. A guy driving a Yugo The cruise ship was sinking

One of the priests said, “Sometimes it feels like such a burden to always be the one who listens to other people’s problems. I can only talk about my sins with the bishop, and he just visits once a year…” The others nodded in agreement Suddenly, one of them said, “Wait a minute, we can forgive other people’s sins, why don’t we just confess to each other?” The others were hesitant at this proposition, but eventually one of them said, “My brothers, I have a great sin to confess: I am an incurable gambler, and sometimes I steal money from the alms box…” The others were taken aback by this, but forgave their fellow priest. The next one said, “Brother, your sin is nothing compared to mine – I’m a lecherous womanizer! There’s not a woman between 18 and 85 in my congregation that I haven’t been with!” The others were surprised, but still forgave their fellow priest. The third priest, who was 90 years old, was unwilling to confess his greatest sin. After some coaxing, he finally said, “Okay th...

A couple went for a cruise tour to enjoy their private honeymoon while leaving their children at home Unfortunately, the cruise ship was sinking due to catastrophic weather condition. The couple finally made their way to the lifeboat area but there was only space for one person left The man jumped onto the lifeboat, leaving his wife on the sinking ship… The wife stood on the sinking ship and shouted to her husband saying… The teacher paused the above story and asked her students in the classroom, “Let us guess What do you think she shouted to her husband?” Most students answered altogether: “I hate you! I was blinded by love!” The teacher noticed that there was a student who sat quietly and asked him The student answered, “Teacher, I believe she would have shouted – Take care of our children!” The teacher was shocked and asked: “Have you heard this story before?” The student shook his head and said, “Nope, but before my mother passed away to disease, she told my father the exact same w...

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife and taken illegal drugs. I was appalled but as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people…” Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately ...

An elderly gentleman had been experiencing serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.” To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will five times!” A priest was being honoured I forgot my teeth